I had the week off from chemo this week. Physically I felt ready for it. After three weeks of medications being pumped into my body, I was tired. When I say tired, I mean so tired that the bags under my eyes are truly too terrifying to document. Still, it was my goal on my week off to try to enjoy life as much as possible. I ran every day. I ran by myself, I ran with my husband and I ran with friends. I ran the Santa Fe trail. I ran at Red Rocks canyon. I ran at the Garden of the Gods. One day I ran around my neighborhood and then hiked with a friend in Palmer park. I ran in beautiful, warm sunny and weather and the Colorado spring snow storm that blew in on Thursday. Here is a picture of Steve and I finishing up our run Thursday morning.
Even though I am feeling slow and tired, each run and hike was a whole lot of fun. Right now I am not running to "train" to be faster. I am running to stay in some form of shape until I am done treatments. I have a race that I am putting on my calendar for a couple of months after my treatments are done. I may enter a couple of races "for fun" before then, but this will be my designated come back race. I have no idea how long it will take me to get back to feeling like myself, full of energy and ready to run at all times. I do not want to sit around and wait for perfect conditions, though. I like having something to plan and look forward to in the future. I know I likely will not turn in my best performance at my designated come back race, but I know I have to start somewhere. If I sat around waiting for the time to be right, I would never get anything accomplished. I am a little afraid right now because I feel like I am starting over, but I will do it precisely because it is scary. That fear, that little bit of doubt is also very exciting. That fear and excitement is part of what makes running so much fun!
I saw my oncologist yesterday. He said I am slightly anemic right now, but nothing that would prevent my chemo treatment on Monday. This is good news because it gives me an explanation for why I am so tired and feeling breathless on some of my runs. I would hate to think I am just wimpy and out of shape. My oncologist and my surgeon are both runners. I prefer getting my care from doctors who run because I know they understand why running is such an important part of my life. Docs who run never tell me not to run, and I appreciate that. I have not named my doctors publicly because I am not sure how they would feel about being "outed", but they are both fabulous doctors who have taken very good care of me. I hope they know the debt of gratitude I feel towards both of them. I have a message for my oncologist, and for everyone reading this: sign up for that race that scares you a little bit. There is no better feeling than finishing that race that makes you feel some fear.
In other running and family news, I spent Friday evening at a track meet. One of my daughters attends and runs for Rampart high school. I truly believe that running can transform lives. I also believe that the hard work of training for races can prepare people to face life's obstacles. To become a better runner, you have to be willing to endure emotional and physical discomfort. You have to commit to working hard and pushing beyond your normal limitations. When you completely lay it on the line in a race, you learn that you are much tougher than you thought you were. High school running is both an individual and a team sport. If you don't give it your best, you are letting both yourself and your team down. Under the guidance of some terrific coaches, I have seen my daughter learn to really push herself over the last year and a half. She is learning all of the life lessons that running teaches us. I want the coaches out there to know that when you make a positive impact on a young person's life, you are making the world become a better place. My daughter's coaches have most definitely been working to make our world a better place, whether they know it or not.
I will close this with a photo of me from the last race I ran before my surgery. I am looking forward to getting back to training hard and feeling good. Every time I feel exhausted, slow and wimpy, I need to remember that I was a strong runner not long ago, and I will be again in the future. This is all temporary and I plan to be back!
In the meantime, onward to #10.
Comment by Ann Labosky on April 6, 2014 at 9:45pm
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